It's been an interesting few weeks to say the least. Nothing too exciting has been happening.. I'm just studying all the time, hoping this pays off. Obviously, I want it to. But knowing myself with my luck, I could very well get a C- in physiology. It's such a scary thought. I hate physiology. Do I want to take it over? I just don't know anymore.
I always forget how much I miss my family. Went to Arizona for a lame bar mitzvah that wasn't even real. Met and saw some of my cousins that I missed. I really wish I had family closer. Some drama went down, with Nat losing his virginity and the whole family knowing about it. And not using a condom. And me being the one to tell him he's the dumbest sixteen year old I know. But anyway, Eva got her period, so it's all good!
What I wanted to "blog" about are the new and old friends I've made who are leaving this year. I went to dinner with Chris, his new bf Joseph, and our friend Matt from body sculpting (also gay) And it just made me realize how good some people can really be. Through Chris being the annoying, needy friend, I really have forgotten how good a person he is. If he needs to help me, he'll do whatever he can. And he's beginning to understand how I am, and the way I think. I'm really going to miss him when he transfers.
Then, there's Cole. I don't know how to describe our friendship. I first met him freshman year, as my second day as an official college student in orchestra. Thanks to being known in high school as the girl who swims AND is the only student at CCHS to play cello, I was still in the phase where I believed I was pretty good at playing. But I was absolutely nothing compared to Cole. Just playing our orchestra pieces, I had no idea why he was at a state school, when he could have easily gotten into a music college. (Later I found out he did. He just liked our cello teacher Jennifer better!) Cole is just a genuinly nice person. I'm still not sure why, but after our second rehearsal, with us always talking, and Dr. Averett eventually moving me back a seat so I couldn't distract him as much, Cole asked if he could walk me home. To the bricks. From the music building. Like, 100 feet away. Then he called out of the blue a few weeks later, and asked if I wanted to go to a piano concert one Sunday. Since then we've gone to numerous concerts, gone to lunch and dinner, gone to a bar, played together, and talked for hours. Not only is he a Christian, but he's an Evangelical. Fml. There's no way hes ever converting. So, I accepted it. And I consider him one of my very good friends. We've gone through those moments friends do. He knows all the "bad" stuff I do that Jesus hates. But he doesn't judge.
In my life, I have had two perfect days that I remember clearly. The first was in middle school when I won the Nevada State Championship for judo. The second was last semester. It was a friday; Early that morning, I had an Asian American History final at 7:15 in the morning. Immediately after, I had a philosophy final at 9. Then, I had work from 1 to 7:30. My friend Anna was going back to Korea, so she had a goodbye party. When I went, I didn't know anyone; but I ended up meeting two occupational therapy majors, and taking shots with them. At around 10:30, just as we decide we are tipsy and ready to go to another apartment to party, I get a call from Cole. He wants to know if I still want to go to San Francisco to our teacher Cecily's holiday chamber music party. So, we arrive in San Francisco at around 12:30 with our cellos, and laughing the whole way there. We play the gorgeous piece of the Brahms string sextet, then go back home.
Last night, I needed someone to listen to my epilepsy speech. and Cole needed a massage. It worked out great. Except he was finally free at around 12:00 pm. So I packed up my laptop,and walked over to the music building. After giving my presentation, and trying for an hour to work out his dumb cello-playing knots, I remembered why I always liked Cole so much. Inevitably, religion always comes up. Always. It started with me telling about my cousin's bar mitzvah. Then he started talking about how he decided to devote himself to G-d, and forgot his old ways. Old ways, basically meaning he said bad words, haha. But anyway, he is on the path. And I always ask him a lot of questions, and he always answers. Although he says he isn't, I still think he's trying to convert me. Obviously, I know I will always be Jewish; but I will never be as intensely Jewish as he is intensely Christian. I think whatever anyone believes, that is the right path for them. He says there can't be multple beliefs- one religion has to be right. Which I still have a hard concept believing.
At one point, he asked if I thought I was a good person. And honestly, I do think so. I haven't committed a horrible crime, I have a degree of compassion, and I want to help others. To him, htis is selfish thinking. To Cole, to Christianity, we are all sinners. Cole asked me if I ever hated anyone. I had. If I ever cheated, if I gossiped, if I ever stole something small. And I had to say yes. This basically meant we were all sinners in the eyes of G-d. Which again, is kind of going out there.. but I still appreciate learning about everything. One thing that did kind of bother me, was at one point when I said, Cole, I think you are a good person. Automatically, he said, no I'm not. No one is. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't like that answer, because I believe in the good of everyone.
One thing I know for sure, and I'm sure he does as well- he has such a gift for music. I really hope he does well in whatever he chooses. Basically, the point of htis is that I'm going to miss seeing him in the music buildinga lot. He helped me get through some of the hardest years of my life.
Anyway, that's about it. I overthink and overanalyze all the time. But I'm just trying to live life the best way I can.
In other news, I did great on my epilepsy presentation!!